I started my official 24 week training for the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk yesterday. And may I say, I impressed myself by walking continuously for 3 miles. At my pace that equated to 1.5 hours. I didn't think I could, but I did. I am happy about that. (By the way, I am dispensing with the Exercise Logs. Instead I will be posting my training progress weekly.)
What I am not happy about is my rebelliousness when it comes to eating. I just cannot (will not?) make up my mind about how to go about an eating plan, let alone sticking to one. Logically, it seems that I should be tracking my food in some way, be it calories on fitday.com or Weight Watchers points in a notebook. I can't (won't?) seem to commit to sticking with either of those.
So then I decide I will just eat intuitively. You know, eat only when hungry, only to the point of satisfaction, and primarily healthy foods. And I do that for awhile and then pretty soon I am eating too much and the wrong things.
I rebel against anything. Anything except overeating. I have been so frustrated with myself that the idea of weightloss surgery crept into my head yesterday. It was a fleeting thought because I don't really want to lose weight that way (insert Seinfeld-esque "Not that there is anything wrong with that" here) but I think it speaks to my level of desperation.
I feel that my behavior is very childish. I am a grown up. I should be able to set limits for myself. And yet, I can't (won't?). Historically, I have been most successful when tracking Weight Watchers points in a journal, so it seems I should go back to that. But always the rebel comes out. Even just writing this makes me want to slap my childish self and tell me to just do what I need to do and quit whining about it!
What will it take for me to get a grip on the food? I am so frustrated with myself.
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13 comments:
God, I hear you! Trying to find the perfect personal peptalk that will convince and motivate us to eat healthy meals and avoid the emotional snack has to be one of the hardest things. My best friend and I have talked about this for hours together. We have different reasons for why we overeat, or eat compulsively, but we both want to find a way to rewire the process. I feel like I'm being deprived when I go on a formal diet, and if I'm down, or even if I'm happy, I want to anesthesize with food. If you find the secret to sticking to the perfect diet, let me know! But good on you, for getting out there and walking 3 miles! Doing it for a good cause maybe makes it easier? I'm rooting for you girl!
whoa. i just posted about this.
i wish i had answers as i'm looking for them myself! but congrats on starting the training! i should get on that myself lol!!
xo
Congrats on 3 miles, that is great! I am with you on the eating. I go in spurts, and can't seem to really string anything meaningful together so that I can make decent progress.
I am sticking with WW, but today is the first day I have counted my points in weeks!
I have been a brat lately myself. There is no motivational speech or bolt of lightening that will MAKE me change.
The people that are successful say that it's all about making health a habit. Tiny decisions over time that create habits.
Just start from where are. That is really all you can do. I wish I would take my own advise. Easier said then done!
I soooo hear you. I had a moment yesterday crying about some photos that were taken about me last weekend...so what did I do....
go home and eat a large chocolate bar....
my gawd...an I 5 years old??
Its steps though - I can't let that keep me from keeping on struggling towards the goal.
:)
I have struggled with the same thing for years! And years!
The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about what constitutes good health and how it's obtained... The real science, and not diet-bestseller pseudo-science. So much of what's out there, including counting calories, is contradictory, confusing and doesn't realy work! Concentrate on gaining health and not on losing weight. I recommend Dr. Joel Fuhrman's approach (just read some of the success stories on his website), or Mary-Ann Shearer's. They both use sound nutritional science and people get truly healthy, not just thinner.
Once you know WHAT you need to do, you can start tackling the actual doing...
Good luck! And well done on the walk!
Great going on the 3 mile walk - especially considering all the good causes related to it: cancer fundraising and your health.
I too wish I knew how to unlock the spastic eating episoded that undo all the good I have done to a point. For me I think it's hardwired into me that I feel I don't deserve better for myself - which is just sad and wrong. Old habits die hard but blogging helps as does forcing myself to be still and talk some sense into me. Let's beat this together. It always helps to have company on the journey.
I am so there with you on this one unfortunately. I have thought SO many times that I NEVER let anything kick my ass in my life, so why am I so (seemingly) powerless to my weight and food issues?? And why, when I know the ultimate outcome of the bad behaviors, do I still do them? *sigh* If you can figure this out be sure to let me know the secret :)
Congratulations on 3 continuous miles - you should be very proud!
I totally relate to what you're going through with rebelling against your eating plan. Again this week, despite my best intentions to get back on track, my eating for the past few days has been ridiculous. Although I've failed to control my intake, one bright spot is that I have forced myself to journal *all* of it. The daily totals are really horrifying, and the process has made it very clear why journaling is essential for me . . . if I didn't have the truth staring back at me from my FitDay screen, I'd be telling myself that I probably ate around maintenance level for the past few days . . . and I'd be underestimating by 750-1,000 calories per day. YIKES!
With only three days left this week, I've had to revise my goal . . . forget about a deficit, it'll be an accomplishment if I can get my average daily calories for the week back into balance.
To pull a tip from Lyn over at Escape from Obesity that helped me more than just about anything esle: Why don't you try for One perfect day. It sounds like tracking really helps you(me too!). Do it for one day. I bet you'll wake up feeling more motivated to stick with it. If not, hey you got one good day under your belt!
Megan
WTG on the exercise. And I totally hear you on the food challenges. Why is it that we're willing to trade just a few moments of tasting something fabulous (and sometimes even tasting something much less than fabulous) for the positive vibes and future good health that we get when eating on track?
I know how you feel! It doesn't seem to matter how much knowledge we have--it's a matter of making ourselves buckle down and do it. I'm with ya, sister!
Bethany
Hi Deb, congrats on walking 3 miles. I did it a couple weeks ago with my daughter and ow, I sure was sore the next day. I recently joined Snap 24 hr. fitness gym and for the first time in my life hired a personal trainer. Guess what? He gave me a meal plan for losing weight and gaining muscle. I'm in the same boat as you, don't want to count WW points and don't like to journal my food, but you don't have to with his plan. If you're interested in seeing it, I would be happy to email it to you, just let me know. I added your blog to my sidebar, hope we get to know each other better as we lose weight. You can email me on my blog. Cheers to your walk. Linda
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