2010 Goals - January Wrap Up (Better Late Than Never)

January didn't exactly go my way. Turns out saying you are going to change your life is alot easier than actually doing it.



My 2010 Goals Update for January:



1. To lose 93 pounds by 1/1/11.

• My goal for January was to lose 10 pounds. I started the month off well losing nearly 4 pounds in the first two weeks. After that wheels were off and I am sure I have gained. I haven't weighed myself so not certain of the exact damage.


• My January exercise goal was 360 minutes for the month. I got 148 minutes total for the month. Hardly anything, really. But better than nothing which is what it has been for weeks and weeks prior to this.


• I was going to stay with in 2500 calories/day. Looks like I only accomplished that 4 days out of 31.

So, yeah, not really making this one happen. I started the year expecting my January calendar to be full of stickers celebrating my successes. Didn't happen. But I get to turn the page and start again in February.



2. To make having fun and relaxing a priority in my life.

My goal was to do one fun or relaxing thing each week. This didn't happen. At all. Something has to give at work before this can happen. Which brings us to #3.



3. To reduce my work-related stress.

There are really only two ways I can see this happening and both are drastic measures that I have been too fearful thus far to actually take. After all the crazy hours we worked in 2009, 2010 is poised to be even worse as we announced the merger of our company with another company of equal size. We will be the surviving entity and the size of our company is doubling. There has been so much additional work surrounding this merger and will continue to be all year long. It's really hard to look ahead to 2010 and not get discouraged. I think this goal needs to be the first one I focus on if I have any hope of accomplishing the other two. So far my fear gets in the way. And I'm not sure just yet how to get past it. I suppose it's just gotta be one of those "leap of faith" things.




Looking ahead to February:

1. By the end of the month I need to be at a decision about my job. I either need to knuckle down and get through it somehow or I need to make a more drastic decision.
2. My weight loss goal for February will be 8 pounds and I will achieve it by sticking to my 2500 calorie budget and my setting another exercise goal of 360 minutes for the month. In order to help me stick to the eating part, I am back to getting the healthy meal delivery. I just don't have time to cook or shop for food right now. I need to make it as easy as possible for myself or else I will be at the drive through on the way home like I was during January.

This Is What Friends Are For

Yes, I've been MIA again. I feel like a broken record when I say my job is kicking my ass. But that is the truth. I've been in tears on and off at work the past couple of weeks. One night I was there til midnight and had texted a friend of mine when I was upset. Here is a portion of the email response I got. I know she is right. And yet I can't seem to change.

Deb - I was so sad when I got your text this morning. The reason I am sad is because my dearest friend is withering away. You are incredibly smart and such a hard worker, yet you won't fight for your health and happiness. You are letting this job beat you down and it is not worth it. You are only halfway through your life yet you slowly stopped living it when you took the job at XXXXX. I feel very helpless as your friend. I have tried to just be there for you and try to talk you through things but the fact is no matter what I say or do, I can't change your life, only you can do that. I know this is tough love, but it is time for you to shit or get off the pot. You either need to ask for part time or quit your job. No amount of money is worth letting go of your friends, family, health, and happiness. The fact is - you are so smart and such a hardworker, you will find another job.

I wish I could magically make everything better because I am in tears right now as I type this because I feel so helpless I can't help you. But it is time for you to help yourself.

I love you and want you to start living again.

Julie