Weigh-in: 2.6 down, 138.5 to go

Down another 2.6 and inching ever so much closer to getting out of the 300's permanently.  I am so happy I made the choice to have vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery.    It is the help I needed to get moving in the right direction.  I'm only 2 months out from surgery but I am already learning that this surgery is just a tool and not a quick fix.

 

How VSG is helping me

• It does help me to not overeat.  Well, I can still over eat, but the quantity that qualifies as "overeating" is much smaller than it was.  Prior to surgery my stomach seemed to have an almost limitless capacity.
• It's taken away that ravenously hungry feeling and I no longer spend my days thinking about when and what I am going to eat next.  Based on what I have read, the surgery removes the part of the stomach that produces grehlin (the "hunger" hormone).  For the first month or so I literally felt no hunger in my stomach.  I mostly ate because I knew I needed to but I never felt hunger driving me to eat.  That was really weird.  I had heard reports of this in what I read prior to surgery but thought there was no way that would happen for me, the perpertually hungry girl.  But it did.  Now here in the 2nd month, I do experience stomach hunger but it happens at normal intervals, like after I haven't eaten for 3-6 hours, depending on how carby the last thing was that I ate.
• In allowing me to drop a substantial amount of weight quickly, it has helped me to be motivated to start exercising and to continue to work hard to get to my weight loss goal.  Before it was too easy to get overwhelmed at the prospect of losing 200 pounds.  Even if I lost 3 pounds in a week, it was discourage because it seemed like a drop in the bucket.

 

How VSG does not help me (or how I must help myself):

• VSG does nothing for "head hunger".  One of my biggest problems before (and still) is stress-eating at work.  I still have to fight that battle.  While I can't eat as much as I used to, I can still hit the vending machine and make lousy choices.  And I will admit, I have sometimes.  Lesson learned.  Weight loss surgery is not the easy way out.  It's a tool.  The choices are still up to you.
• VSG does not walk on the treadmill or do other forms of exercise for me.  As I am losing, I am noticing how flabby my muscles have become and I'm considering signing up at a peronal training gym to start working on shaping up my muscles now.  I gotta do that work.  The surgery doesn't help me do that work.

Is it worth it?  The answer is an unequivocal YES.  My only regret is not having done it sooner.  I would do it again tomorrow. 

Changes I noticed this week:

• I can put my bra on without practically throwing my shoulder out from all the contorting and stretcing I needed to do before.
• I can scratch an itch on my back without having have something to help me reach it.
• I am wearing smaller undies. :)
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Weigh-in: 4.2 down, 144.3 to go

Wow 309 today.  I'm getting so close to being out of the 300's!!!  My goal will be to get there within the next 2 weeks.  And then I'm never going back!

It's amazing to me the progress I have made so quickly.  And I feel really good too.  I could not be happier with my decision to have VSG surgery.

Changes I noticed this week:

• I can sleep comfortably on my stomach again.
• No more peeing when I sneeze.
• When I got my hair cut yesterday, I was able to fit into the smock.  In the past, the smock wouldn't close so my hairdresser always had to give me a cape instead.

Weigh-in: 5.2 down, 148.6 to go

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Yippy!  Lost 5.2 this week, pushing me over the 50 pound mark.  And that means I am already more than a quarter of a way to my goal.  I love my sleeve and am so glad I did this.

Not only does the sleeve help me control the quantity that I eat, it also has taken away that compulsive feeling of needing to eat all the time.  I've read that with the VSG, they remove the part of the stomach that produces ghrelin.  If you are a Dr Oz fan, you know that is the "hunger hormone". 

I can only speak of my experience but I have noticed a marked change in my drive to eat.  I do get hungry at appropriate intervals and eat when I need to.  But prior to surgery I constantly battled with wanting to eat ALL.THE.TIME.  And now that is gone.  Yes, sometimes when I see something yummy I want it even though I don't need it.  But that constant compulsion to eat is gone.  Hallelujah.

Things I noticed this week:

• Got my first comment about my weight loss.
• My size 24 jeans are starting to get too loose.  (I started in a tight size 26).
• I've started purging my closet of the things that are too large...keeping only one outfit to remember where I came from, and so I can do that famous weightloss pose standing in one leg of your old fat pants.  :)

Weigh In: 2.4 gained, 177.1 to go.

First weigh in post op shows I gained 2.4 pounds.  Seems crazy considering I ate and drank literally nothing from midnight Thursday through Sunday.  Monday I had water, one cup of broth , and a popcicle.  But I was also on IV fluids for 4 days, received 2 units of blood and 4 units of iron.  So I'm thinking it's swings in water weight.

They did determine that I am anemic, which is shocking to me.  I always think of anemic people as skinny little gals who don't eat enough.   Clearly that was not me.  I've had a terrible ice-chewing habit for months and several people kept telling me to get checked for anemia as craving ice is apparently a symptom.  I poo-poo'ed the whole idea being the big strapping girl I am.  I was wrong.  I have my post op follow up next week and I'm betting they put me on iron pills.

For the next 2 days I remain on clear liquids, water, Crystal lite, broth, sugar free popcicles and jello.  No carbonated beverages of any kind...forever....goodbye my beloved Diet Cokes. 

For the first week my main focus is to get in enough fluids.  My new stomach is still swollen and so it can be difficult to even get the fluids down very quickly.  No more gulping water.  Yesterday when I ate a popcicle, I couldn't finish it.  It won't always be this restrictive.  This is just due to post-op swelling.

Once I get the liquids going down better, my focus is to be sure to get enough protein in.  For 3 weeks I am to stay on the liquid protein diet I was on for 4 weeks prior to surgery, then I can move on to "mushy" type foods for two weeks (cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, hot cereals, yogurt, etc), and then I can move on to testing regular foods.

This "progressive" diet is to allow the staple line in the stomach to heal fully before putting too much strain on it.  Some surgeons allow people to move on to regular food much more quickly, but I like that my surgeon is uber careful.

Today I am feeling pretty OK.  I rested amazingly well in my own bed last night.  Nobody waking me up every hour to check my BP, no beeping IV machines, no hallway noise.  Bliss.  Still some soreness in my abdomen but that is improving.  I can sit up in bed without much trouble at this point.  I need to get started gettting my daily fluids down.  What I am noticing is that warm stuff goes down easier than cold.  When I first was allowed to drink, I had been craving ice water so badly but the cold, while tasting delicious, made my tummy feel somewhat crampy.  The warm broth felt much more sooting.

I was supposed to go back to work today, but that was when I thought I was getting out of the hospital on Saturday so I am taking at least an extra day.  Just going to rest up at home some more today.  I am sure much napping will be going on.  That is my hope anyway.

 

Home Again....Finally

I am finally home from the hospital today.  Had to stay two days longer than expected due to severe nausea I went through, presumably from the anasthesia.  I've never been more miserable in my life.  But, ignoring that, the surgery went well, my swallow test showed no leaking and I finally was able to drink water and broth and eat a popcicle today.  There is not much pain.  Mostly just sore as though I had done a really killer ab workout.

I'm really pooped out but wanted to get a quick post up so no one thought I had kicked off or anything.

I'm going to weigh in the morning for my first official post-op weigh in.  I have no idea what to expect since I was on IV fluids for 4 days.  I guess we'll see. 

Pre-Op Appointment

This is really getting real now.  I had my pre-op appointment at the hospital yesterday.  They drew blood twice which I hated.  Serious needle phobia here.  Other than getting jabbed twice, the appointment was basic.  A nurse went over how I should prepare for surgery and what to expect when I got to the hospital.  They also did chest xrays although I'm not entirely certain why.  I guess I should have asked.

My surgery is at 12:30 this coming Friday.  I have to be at the hospital two hours ahead of time to get prepped and get an IV started.  Eek...more needles.  I'm such a baby.  The surgery will take 45 minutes to an hour and then I'll be in recovery.  Most folks getting the gastric sleeve only have to spend one night in the hospital. 

I have yet to talk to a person who had this surgery and regretted it.  I am so looking forward to the positive changes in my health and life. 

Preparing For Surgery: The Diet

In preparing for surgery, there are a few things that my surgeon is requiring me to do:

• Have a sleep study
• Get cardiac clearance
• Do a liquid protein diet for 4 weeks

Yikes!  Four weeks!  I'm a little more than two week into the liquid diet and I'm doing OK.  The purpose of the diet is to shrink your liver prior to surgery.  Dr. Kim says that overweight people tend to have big livers due to the amount of carbohydrates we have stored there.  Some of us may also have fatty liver disease.  He also commented that I am carrying so much weight in my middle right where he needs to perform the surgery.  So he wanted me to take some weight off before surgery.

The liquid protein shakes are actually not too bad and I think I will incorporate them into my post surgery diet as a meal replacement occasionally.

The product I am using is called BariEssentials.  My surgeon only had it in chocolate, although I do believe it comes in other flavors.

I can have 4 shakes per day if I make them with skim milk, 5 if I make them with water.  I do my with skim milk.  I was concerned about how I was going to have my shakes at work.  I am trying to keep the surgery to myself at work so I didn't think lugging a blender to work would be all too discrete.  At first I tried just stirring them up but that left lumps.  Then I found this shaker bottle at GNC and it really does the trick.

As you can see, it has a little whisk ball you put inside when you shake it up.  I was skeptical, but it really does make a nice frothy shakes and no lumps!

This is the end result.

I'm not gonna lie, the first week doing this was HARD.  And I did fall off the wagon even though I was allowed a few "extras" to help with hunger pangs....sugar free popcicles, broth, sugar free jello.  When I went a bit off, it wasn't terribly so most of the time.  After about 3 days I was REALLY HUNGRY and was getting headaches.  So on days I felt bad and like I really needed something, I ate a couple of string cheeses and that helped alot.  Once I was past the first week, it got easier.  The shakes to satisfy me as long as I don't let myself get too hungry before having my next one. 

I will admit that I did fall off a bit harder than that last week.  You see, I finished my MBA classes last Monday (hip hip hooray!) and on Tuesday my boss took me to dinner and drinks to celebrate.  And I really wanted to celebrate.   So I went ahead and had a couple of margaritas, and enchilada, and little beans and rice.  Clearly not doctor recommended.  But I got right back on it the next day and have been ever since.

I feel really good on this liquid diet.  Yes, I am definitely looking forward to getting to chew my meals again.  But the liquid diet has really arrested my compulsive behaviors around food.  And it's made me realize how much better it feels to NOT have a belly stuffed full on junk.

Taking It In A New Direction

Here I am again.  I started this blog nearly 3 years ago.  I was around 315 then.  Now I'm sitting at 355ish.  I've gained 40 pounds.  Well, actually more, because I had jumped up to 367 during these past couple of months of no posting.  So I guess at one point I was 52 pounds higher than when I started this blog. 

Cleary what I've been doing hasn't been working for me and it's time to take it in a new direction.  This will come from out of the blue to anyone who might still be reading this blog.  But it's not.  I've thought long and hard and I've done my research and I've made the decision to have weight loss surgery.

In all my years of struggling with weight, never did I think I would be someone who had WLS.  Not because I judged it or the people who decided to have it.  Mostly because the very idea of it scared the bejeezus out of me.  And because it just seemed like I should be able to do it on my own. 

And maybe I should be able to do it on my own.  Plenty of others have.  But, based on result, I can't.  Not in any sustained way anyway.  So I am getting help.  I want my life back.  I want to be active, healthy, and attractive.  I want to go places, meet people, do things.  I am 41 years old.  If not now, when?  I do not deserve to live my life imprisoned in my fat and in my head.  I want out of this body.

To that end, I am scheduled to have Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy with Dr. David Kim on May 20.