Weigh in: 0.1 gained, 116 to go

Well ain't that a pisser!  I gained a smidge this week.  I did eat some junky stuff at work this week.  Stress, as usual.  I also think this is partially the result of my being......ummm.....irregular this week?  You picking up what I am laying down?  So I'm going to take my psyllium husk pills that seem to help me get things moving again.

While I am bummed the scale didn't move because I REALLY want to hit the 100 pound mark by my birthday (Nov 24), there were some things to celebrate this week.  Namely:

1. I fit into the size 20 jeans I have in my closet.  Since I'm a fat belly girl, they are a bit tight in the waist but the butt and legs fit perfectly.  It's time to do another round of closet cleaning. 
2. I am kicking ass and taking names in my workout sessions with my trainers at Fitness Together.  They said I am noticeably stronger and one said he can see that I have lost weight. I am able to get through the workouts without stopping to rest all the time like I had to when I first started.  We are upping the weights I am using.  I did some girl pushups with good form!  (One of my fitness goals is to be able to REAL pushups, not the girl ones.)
3. I have gotten more comments about the fact that I am apparently "glowing".  I don't know if this is the weightloss or my new retinol cream.  ;-)
4. I think my hairloss may be slowing down.  I am not totally sure about this though.  It might just be wishful thinking.  My hair is WAY thinner than it used to be.  I am thankful I started out with lots or I'd be bald by now. 

I am overdue for my next checkup with Dr. Kim.  It's a busy week at work  but I need to find time to go get my bloodwork done.  This is the appointment where they check to see what has improved and to check and be sure nothing bad is going on.  I'm very interested to get these results because before my surgery they identified that I was severely anemic and they actually infused me with 4 thingymabobs of iron.  If I'm low again, I will have to start on iron pills.   Hmmmmm....can anemia affect hair loss?  Must google that.

Weigh-in: 0.1 down, 148.5 to go

Disappointing week on the scale, down only 0.1 which is basically a maintain.  Looking back on the week I exercised more than in any other week but I also ate some foods I haven't eaten for a couple of months.  Junky stuff.

I went in for my one month follow up and the doctor told me I was right on track and even a little ahead.  I was given clearance to eat anything my stomach will tolerate....no more restrictions.  They were pleased I had broken the 50 pound mark and set me up for my next follow up in 3 months.  So I started thinking that by then I wanted to be down 100.

And from there my brain went haywire.  I drove from the doctor's office to the grocery store and bought Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.  I know.  WTF?!  I ate 3 of them and felt immediately ill.  I did spend some time trying to understand where this behavior came from after these past two months without my food demons.  I am chalking it up to fear of success.  The doctor praising my results, reaching a 50 pound milestone, and then thinking too far ahead to reaching my 100 pound milestone.  I always get f'ed up in the head when someone comments on my weightloss.  It's like I feel the pressure to perform and completely bug out.

I spent a couple of days making some crappy choices.  The good news is, there's no physical way for me to do the kind of bingeing that I used to do and I did reign it back in within a couple of days.  I am back on track now.  But the scale this week shows the result of my wig out.  I was also made painfully aware that this surgery does not fix everything.  And, if I choose to, I could easily not lose another pound or even gain the weight back.  This surgery is a just a tool to help me.  I still have to do my part.  Which I fully intend on doing this week!

Changes I noticed this week:

• I can carry my purse over my shoulder again.  I had gotten so fat it wouldn't fit on my shoulder any more.
• I was able to wear a couple of pairs of shoes this week that my feet had gotten too fat for.
• I went shopping in my closet and found some old 22/24 tops I can fit into again.  Started out in a tight 26/28.
• One night this week I took my jeans off by pulling them off without even unbuttoning or unzipping.  So I was able to put a couple more pairs of jeans in my "fat clothes" box that will be going to Goodwill.
• Yesterday I went to the movies and fit in the seat.  Tight fit, but I didn't have to raise the armrests to be comfortable.
• I was able to walk up the stairs in the parking garage without huffing and puffing.
• I'm not sweating as much as I used to.
• I think the hair loss has stopped, or at least slowed down.

Weigh-in: 6.7 down, 153.8 to go

Yahoo!  Down another big chunk - 6.7 pounds putting me very close to the 50 pound mark.  I'll take it!

Yesterday was exactly 4 weeks since surgery.  I went into surgery at about 339, after losing 28 on my 4 week liquid protein diet.  So that means I have been averaging about a 5 pound/week rate of lose since surgery.  Very nice.

Changes I noticed this week:

• I started walking on my treadmill this week and was able to do 45 minutes without my back hurting even once.  I felt good enough to really push myself to up in the incline and the speed.  To be able to exerise for a decent length of time without pain was wonderful.  And I'm looking forward to keeping it up and doing even more!
• I might be paranoid, but I think I may have started losing hair.  It happens sometimes with WLS.  Some think it happens when you don't get enough protein in and others think it's the shock of surgery that does it.  I don't really know.  I've been pretty diligent about getting the doctor recommended amount of protein and then some on most days.  And I've been taking biotin since prior to surgery.  All I know is I am noticed more hair in my hands each morning after I washit.  And last night I had to twist my ponytail holder 3 times instead of just 2.  Fortunately I started out with alot of hair and I don't think anything is noticeable to anyone else but me.  Still, I hope this doesn't keep up too much longer.  I'm not really freaking out (yet) because I know it will grow back.