Weigh-in: 0.1 down, 148.5 to go

Disappointing week on the scale, down only 0.1 which is basically a maintain.  Looking back on the week I exercised more than in any other week but I also ate some foods I haven't eaten for a couple of months.  Junky stuff.

I went in for my one month follow up and the doctor told me I was right on track and even a little ahead.  I was given clearance to eat anything my stomach will tolerate....no more restrictions.  They were pleased I had broken the 50 pound mark and set me up for my next follow up in 3 months.  So I started thinking that by then I wanted to be down 100.

And from there my brain went haywire.  I drove from the doctor's office to the grocery store and bought Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls.  I know.  WTF?!  I ate 3 of them and felt immediately ill.  I did spend some time trying to understand where this behavior came from after these past two months without my food demons.  I am chalking it up to fear of success.  The doctor praising my results, reaching a 50 pound milestone, and then thinking too far ahead to reaching my 100 pound milestone.  I always get f'ed up in the head when someone comments on my weightloss.  It's like I feel the pressure to perform and completely bug out.

I spent a couple of days making some crappy choices.  The good news is, there's no physical way for me to do the kind of bingeing that I used to do and I did reign it back in within a couple of days.  I am back on track now.  But the scale this week shows the result of my wig out.  I was also made painfully aware that this surgery does not fix everything.  And, if I choose to, I could easily not lose another pound or even gain the weight back.  This surgery is a just a tool to help me.  I still have to do my part.  Which I fully intend on doing this week!

Changes I noticed this week:

• I can carry my purse over my shoulder again.  I had gotten so fat it wouldn't fit on my shoulder any more.
• I was able to wear a couple of pairs of shoes this week that my feet had gotten too fat for.
• I went shopping in my closet and found some old 22/24 tops I can fit into again.  Started out in a tight 26/28.
• One night this week I took my jeans off by pulling them off without even unbuttoning or unzipping.  So I was able to put a couple more pairs of jeans in my "fat clothes" box that will be going to Goodwill.
• Yesterday I went to the movies and fit in the seat.  Tight fit, but I didn't have to raise the armrests to be comfortable.
• I was able to walk up the stairs in the parking garage without huffing and puffing.
• I'm not sweating as much as I used to.
• I think the hair loss has stopped, or at least slowed down.