I have spent alot of time today thinking about the number I saw on the scale this morning. And I have thought about the fact that I started this weight loss blogging adventure nearly a year ago and during this time have actually managed to GAIN nearly 35 pounds.
My health and weightloss has not been the #1 priority in my life and it needs to be. I mean, shit, I have 180+ pounds to lose. That's no joke, people. And it is a freakin' SERIOUS undertaking that can only be accomplished by making it the most important thing in my life. Losing 180 pounds is not just going to happen accidentally. A focused and concerted effort is going to be required.
And if this means something else has to give, then something else is just going to have to give. If it means that it takes longer than I wanted it to to complete my MBA, then so be it. It doesn't matter if I get that piece of paper and then no one takes me seriously in job interviews because I weigh 350 pounds.
I go back to work tomorrow. And the semester is winding down with all sorts of looming deadlines between now and when I am actually finished. So it will be VERY easy for me to fall back into the same trap of putting every other obligation before the obligation I have to myself to take care of myself.
So in the interest of keeping my focus on my #1 priority - me and my weightloss efforts - I have a new mantra I am going to repeat to myself often throughout the day:
I matter.
Simple. To the point. But exactly what I need to hear. I matter. The things I need to take good care of the only body I will ever have matter. And those things are rest, peace, and time for myself.
I matter. And this time I am making a concerted effort not to let myself forget it.
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7 comments:
This was an excellent post! Good for you and a great reminder for someone like me who struggles the same struggle every day. Thank you!
Shew, you really had a tough couple of days, no? I understand how hard it is to make yourself a priority, I have struggled with it as well. I am in academia, and went to my office with the goal of working until 6pm and then jogging. Well at 7, I still wasn't jogging, I got myself frantic over a paper. FRANTIC. I almost didn't even try to run. I almost threw in the towel and just came home, but I didn't. I only got 2K in because of lighting and a downpour, but I feel infinitely better for putting ME before work for ONCE. You can do it, it is hard, and a struggle, but well, well worth it.
You matter. Don't let anything else, be it daily obligations, other commitments and plain ole mental stress let you think otherwise.
You ARE what matters most!
I'm sorry that it has been tough for you. I know how it feels to be so stressed out that you just wanna eat to make it all go away. Unfortunately, eating never made the stress go away for me---it just made it worse.
Your health is your number one priority, most definitely. You can do this.
*chills*
I had a long talk with a friend last night all about the M word and the concept of mattering.
you do.
youre worth it.
YOU MATTER.
I am so happy for you that you've decided to put yourself first! And I love your mantra - it sums thiings up very elegantly.
Deb, I love your mantra! You DO matter! Good for you. :) I love that you are breaking your overall goal into smaller more achievable goals. Good for you. You are doing great!
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