I wanted to thank everyone for their comments on my last post about being asked to be godmother to my cousin's baby. Most of you commented in one form or another that being godmother these days is largely an honorary role. I pretty much already knew that but hearing you all say it brought to light for me that my real fear wasn't the responsibility I would possibly be assuming in the life of the child. Rather, my fear is seeing my cousin and other family members all these years (and pounds) later. There. I said it. I want to turn down a huge honor and potentially hurt my beloved cousin's feelings because I am embarrassed what I look like.
Selfish bitch = me.
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Dumping Amazon and living a more deliberate life
10 months ago
5 comments:
Join the club... I cannot tell you how many good friends I have let fade away because I am SURE they will judge me for my weight gain... It sucks and feels stupid when you do it- but there is some truth to it... people aren't sensitive to it for nothing. Our society and the media have made being fat into the WORST THING EVER and people buy into it... they believe they are supposed to be shocked by others gaining weight and people who are fat assume that people will flip out when they see the fat!
You are not alone blogfriend.
and me!
You're so not alone in this. I turned down being a bridesmaid for my brother and right now I haven't gone to visit a good friend and meet her newborn baby because I don't want her or others to see the weight I've re-gained.
Last year my trip back to the UK for my own wedding celebration was excrutiatingly stressful. I wanted to cancel the whole thing having regained over 60lb in the 10 months since my wedding. I went and I had a great time but I carried a lot of shame. All the negativity was on my part not my friends and family though.
It's so natural to feel like you do. If you can, I'd say go. Anyone who truly loves you might feel bad for you, but they won't judge you.
youre not alone. at all.
so many things I wanna say but, with all fear theyd come across wrong in the medium of a blogcomment, lemmie just say:
HUGS,
Miz.
Deb, I sooooo get this. Big Hugs to you! You are not being Selfish and you are not a B@tch either! You're human and in this world it's hard to feel accepted as an overweight person. Be kind to yourself and really think about what you might be giving up by saying no. Remember you are NOT alone!
Isn't it amazing what all this weight does to us? It traps us into being something other than who we truly are, and want to be.
It's held me back from things, too...like going to visit my Omi more often because she's critical of my weight...but she's my last surviving grandparent. It was six years between visits this last fall...and I dreaded seeing her for ONLY that reason. Ridiculous, eh?
Then I realized, I'm a good person...no matter what the outside of me looks like, or where I jiggle. If she has issue with it, then it's HER issue, not mine. There are so many reasons to analyze fat and its barriers...but I'm not going to do that.
That little baby doesn't care what you look like....and you'd be doing it mostly for the child. :)
Blessings on whatever your decision...just don't let others judgements stop you from doing what you want. :)
...stepping down from my soapbox now before it breaks under the weight! ;)
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