But we can't kick ourselves to the curb. So maybe it's time to have some self-forgiveness and start changing the messages we are sending ourselves. I know I am extremely critical of myself and beat myself up for my binge eating, for my not exercising as much as I think I should and for the state of my body. I wasn't even fully aware of just how negative my thoughts towards myself were until one day several months ago I was walking through my house and out loud, out of nowhere, for no discernible reason, I said, "You are such a fat ass." I was the only one in the room so I am pretty sure I was talking to myself.
It really took me aback because I was not consciously thinking anything about my weight or dieting. But somewhere in my subconscious those thoughts are obviously always lurking and that day it bubbled to the surface without my even thinking about it. It makes me sad to think how mean I am to myself and that I have convinced myself on such a deep and unconscious level that I am a "fatass" and it is OK to speak unkindly to myself.
So how do we change this self-defeating talk and get an I CAN DO IT attitude? One recommendation is the book is to become your own cheerleader. In order to be successful we have to create a strong belief that we can do this. She recommends writing down a list of reasons why you know can lose the weight. Here is my list:
I know I can lose weight because:
- I am smart.
- I am knowledgable about nutrition.
- My body is capable of exercise.
- I am following a healthy diet plan.
- I have done it before and can do it again.
- I know others who have done it and if they can, I can.
- I am capable and hard-working.
- I have supportive friends both online and in real life.
- I have an awesome water aerobics instructor who motivates me to work as hard as I can.
Now before you think I've gotten all "Stuart Smalley" on you, I do realize that just because I have written these things down in no way means I have magically changed myself. But I have acknowledged some positive truths to myself and will revisit the list daily, even several times a day. It's time to start playing some positive thoughts over and over in my head instead of just negative ones.
Make your own list. Tell me why you are sure that YOU CAN DO IT!!! Let's get those positive thoughts flowing.
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5 comments:
Excellent! What you described there is probably the number one brick wall we who have weight to lose hit. I also think writing the positives down goes a long way, I may have to do that myself.
I'd be interested to hear about your water aerobics class. I'm contemplating joining a gym with a pool specifically for that reason. Any insight would be helpful.
weight loss definitely involves a huge portion of getting our emotions and deeper issues resolved as we go down the journey. It's a roller coaster of emotion for me for sure!
I can do it because I'm following a "real life" food plan. One that isn't too restrictive, but one that is consistently shifting my habits from bad choices to good ones.
I can do it because I'm learning to actually enjoy exercising!
(I'm going to have to get this book -- it sounds full of great advice/tips, etc.)
Great posts on Days 6 & 7, Deb - as usual, very thought-provoking. This is a "combo comment" on both posts.
The main reason I believe I will succeed this time is that I've finally acknowledged to myself just how much being obese costs me in terms of enjoyment/quality of life, and I'm no longer willing to pay that price. Said another way, I am more willing to pay the price of "protecting my program" than I am to pay the price of remaining obese. My three highest-risk times or events are:
(1) Denial. When I start getting off track, I have a tendency to avoid the scale and just not think about my weight. The most important thing I can do to protect my program is to remember that I have one - that weightloss is a top priority for me and my choices need to reflect that priority. So, whatever else happens, I will weigh in every week - no more denial.
(2) Social occasions involving food & drink. I will try to plan activities that do not revolve around food & drink. I will accept that such occasions are not a free pass to eat whatever/as much as I please, and that I need to make healthier choices and limit portion sizes. I will journal what I eat at these occasions, although I find the imprecision annoying - from now on, if it's too much trouble to journal it, it's too much trouble to eat it! If I have a higher calorie day as a result of food & drink at a social occasion, I will compensate for it on other days that week - I believe that calorie cycling is a good thing, so some higher calorie days can easily fit into my plan.
(3) Travel/spending extended time with friends & family members who don't necessarily share my fitness goals. In the past, I have not been willing to prioritize my fitness goals in these circumstances, due in part to an unwillingness to openly acknowledge my weight problem. I will be up-front with friends and family members that losing weight is a top priority for me at this point, and simply take time out from group activities as necessary in order to stick with my plan.
Love your list!
Weight loss is probably 99.999999% mental. We have to change the way we think, the way we treat ourselves and believe that we can do it! :)
You are doing great! :)
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