Goodbye, Weight Watchers

I have finally done what I never thought I'd do. I have said goodbye to Weight Watchers. I have been a Weight Watchers member for years. I have always felt it was the best and most liveable diet plan out there. And yet I keep paying them my $40 a month and I have done nothing but gain weight. The only thing lighter is my bank account. I am in no way blaming Weight Watchers for this. I still say if you follow their plan you should lose weight. I wasn't following it so I didn't lose weight.

So why wasn't I following it if I believed it was the best plan out there? Well, I guess it just hooks into all my compulsiveness surrounding food, my disordered eating, my perfectionism, and my shame surrounding my weight and food. I know keeping a food journal is the key the success of many losers. For me it is something to rebel against, to give up on when it's not perfect. I am tired of feeling guilty if I don't write it down, weigh it, measure it, or if I gain weight. I don't want to feel "good" or "bad" anymore. I just want a healthy lifestyle. I want to learn to eat mostly healthy foods without freaking out at the occasional treat or meal out. I don't want to worry if I am calculating the points right on foods I didn't prepare myself. I want to incorporate exercise into my daily life without thinking about the points that I am earning for it. I want to exercise because it is fun and good for me not because it will earn me more food.

This is how doing WW feels to me. And it is not working for me. Everytime I buy a fresh new food journal so I can "start over" it is just another incidence of insanity....doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So I am done with it. Starting now my focus is on choosing healthy foods, cutting back on processed, sugary foods, and continuing to find ways to incorporate exercise into my daily life.