Are You Happy?

I was having lunch with one of my good friends last week.  Actually, she's one of the VERY few people at work who know I had this surgery.  She asked me, "How do you feel?  Are you happy you did this?"

She was someone who had expressed a small bit of concern over me having the surgery.  Not in a negative way.  More in a "have you really given this enough thought and this is going to change your life and the way you are able to eat forever so you better be sure" kind of way.  She was concerned because she'd had other friends who had WLS and they sort of...well...lost their minds.  They struggled alot when they couldn't eat like they used to.  She just wanted me to be sure this was the right choice for me.

Didn't take me long to answer her question.  I feel great.  And, yes, I am happy I did this. 

Having nearly 50 pounds off my body has made an enormous difference in the way I feel on a daily basis.  While I realize 50 pounds is alot of weight to lose, I am still over 300 pounds so I really didn't expect to physcially feel this much better so soon. 

• I sleep great.
• Exercise is alot easier and more enjoyable.
• I can walk through stores without my back aching or having to use a cart to hold myself up.
• I am fitting into smaller clothes.
• My feet are even smaller.
• I am starting to see a shape in my face again. 

I also feel better on the inside.  I am making more efforts with my appearance.

• I take more care to make myself up in the morning.
• I wear perfume.
• I take time to put earrings on in the morning.
• I smile more.
• I feel optimistic and hopeful.
• I feel motivated.
• I painited my nails.  See!  OK, so I still have dimples instead of knuckles, but that's OK.

So, yes, my friend, I am happy I did this.  In fact, I am ecstatic.  I am making progress toward a goal that I have struggled with long and hard.  There are still struggles, just different ones.  Head hunger would be one of those struggles.  I am physically satisfied with very small portions of food.  But when it's sitting in front of me, I WANT to eat more even thought I don't NEED to eat more.  It can be hard.  But I have learned to serve my portion and put the rest away.  I am really only tempted to overeat if it's sitting there in front of me. 

I've exchanged unmanageable struggles for ones I can manage.  It was a long time coming, me making this decision to have surgery.  If you had asked me just 12 months ago if I'd ever consider WLS I would have told you HELL NO.  But I guess I finally realized I was going to need help to lose the 200 pounds of excess weight on my body.  And, really, what's so wrong about getting help if you need it?  Not a damned thing, that's what.

Life is to short to struggle forever and never achieve your goal. 

I feel good and I am happy I made this decision.