Posts
Dumping Amazon and living a more deliberate life
9 months ago
Monday, January 12, 2009
But Will The Kids at School Like Me?
I am a 39 year old degreed professional. I am a CPA and hold a very challenging job where people come to me to answer their questions. I have people who report to me. I have all that proof of my compenence and yet I have the night before school jitters because I am afraid my classmates won't like me and no one will want to have the "fat girl" in their group for the group projects we need to do this semester. That's right, I am afraid no one will pick the "fat girl" to be on their team. Just like dodgeball in elementary school.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
I don't know if you have read my post in the last two weeks but they have all been about being the fattest and fitting in desks and everything associated with the anxiety about being judged in school. I went back and I am feeling you on the elementary school fears!
I blame everything on my weight... he doesn't remember my name because I am fat! Good one! You get the point.
and isnt it amazing how we age and 'grow' and yet everything stays the same.
I think this so often as well.
You are not alone in these thoughts. Everyone has them, even people that don't have weight issues. Insert whatever anxiety you want. Remember that everyone wants to fit in and be liked, not just you! Hold your head high! Enjoy your first day! :)
I don't think it matters how old we are.......we are still somewhat the little kid deep inside ;) just better. Your confidence will get there!
*Hugs* Deb! We hope that by this time in life, people will learn not to judge by outward appearances, huh? But still, I'm with you here. It's not school for me, but every time I go out in public, I'm aware and afraid that people will think badly of me because of my size. But just keep up the good work and that worry will be a thing of the past!
~Bethany
oh, our insecurities sometimes never leave us. You'll be great and I'll bet that by the end of the semester, everybody will wish that you had been in their group!
I've been there too - it's amazing what an imprint those childhood experiences leave on our psyches!
Whichever "kids" end up with you on their team will be lucky!
Ugh. I sooo know this feeling. Only I think I may have it even worse. I know that I always feel like I stand out like a sore thumb. And whenever I meet someone new... all I am thinking inside is how they must be judging how fat I am. I worry all the time and often have to force myself to do things because I feel like I am constantly being judged.
But than I remember that I am a strong, confident woman who is changing her life.. one pound at a time. And I'm sure you are too! :-)
PS
GO TEAM LYNN
Ah those old knee-jerk reactions! Every time I see the principal in my kids' school, I have to fight down my panic that I might be in trouble (I was a very bad child in school), and last week, while speaking to some 5th graders, my face got all flushed, like it does when I'm nervous.
Ludicrous, yet happening all the same.
It's really hard to leave the issues from childhood behind sometimes. No matter what I have done as an adult, a childhood weight memory can send me reeling. We are more that our weights... just have to truly believe it.
That dodgeball comment conjures up HORRIBLE images. :) Hang in there.
I hear you, Walking into a room and instantly working out if I'm the fattest there is a habit that's going to be hard to break.
Just before I found your blog I'd just read Cammy's latest post where she talks about My Bad Habits, there's some great advice there about just this kind of thing.
I hope it all goes well for you.
I don't think that feeling ever really goes away. And it happened to me in grade school and I wasnt even FAT. Just dorky.
Post a Comment