I was down 0.8 today at my weigh in. That is after being up 1.2 from last week. So I've been kind of stalled out. Not doing well enough to actually lose, but not gaining huge amounts either. Could be worse, I guess, but stalled out is not where I want to be. I want to start making some progress!
I'm still struggling to change my lifestyle but I am starting to feel some changes happening with my thinking. I am starting to occasionally imagine myself thin. And I am remembering the days when I was thinner and how much better I felt and how much more fun getting dressed in the morning was. I'm taking this as a good sign that maybe I'm getting closer to being ready to make some REAL progress towards my goals.
I have very much been stuck in a hopeless and apathetic mindset about my ability to succeed at this weightloss and about whether it's even worth trying to do. Once a week (or whenever I bothered myself to weigh in) I would get all "RAH-RAH, this week is going to be different, I'm going to do better." And then I never would. In fact, I'd rarely make it through that day without making a choice that was completely detrimental to my weightloss.
My "RAH-RAH" thoughts were bullshit. I was bullshitting you and I was bullshitting myself. Enough with the bullshit. I gotta be real. And what's real is that I am only just now starting to feel a little bit like maybe making a real effort at weightloss is worth it. That I am worth it. And that I could actually succeed. I'm not all the way there. I am not feeling all "RAH-RAH" about the upcoming week. I am just going to say that I've noticed slight shifts in my internal dialogue. And I'm hopeful that is a sign of good changes to come. One day at a time.
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7 comments:
Wow, i feel the exact same way! One failed frickin attempt after another.. alll rah rah im gonna do this sign up for WW buy expensie helathy foods.. and then i forget like i have amnesia, and let that food rot in my firdge while i waste money at the drive through. Its such a disgusting thing!!!!! UgH, I HOPE TO BE ABLE TO GET MYSELF OUT OF THE RUT TOO .. i have been goign through the BS attempts for the last 4 years! and i reallly deep down an TIRED OF IT!!
Oh boy can I relate to your post today! You are most def worth it! So am I! :) Thanks for this post!
Funny enough the word verification for me was "nopie" which I read as no pie! :) How appropriate!
Keep laying the groundwork in your mind. I totally understand the "Rah, rah" behavior that you described. Been Rah, Rah, done that. I think it's better to be on an even, steady keel in your head, rather than at that extreme. The expectation is so high, that a stumble seems like a huge, catastrophic fall.
Slow and steady will win the race when you get your head in the game. It really will. Good luck.
You are absolutely worth it!
I did that "stutter-start" thing, too, but when I got my mind around the let's-DO-it concept once and for all, there was no turning back. Keep working on those thoughts!
as much as you can as often as you can
I'm sure on a daily basis that the food is just incredibly more attractive than some "pie in the sky" goal of losing all that weight (so to speak!)
But here's the deal, all you have to do is one day. That's what alcoholics do - one 24 hour period because if they had to think about the rest of their lives (or 178 pounds) it would be overwhelming. Can you do one day? Of course. Each day, wake up and do one day. At the end of a year, at 2 lbs per week on average, you could be down 104 pounds.
I was always waiting for the epiphany that would clobber my weight problem, but, truly, I had epiphany after epiphany and nothing truly was humiliating or motivating enough for me to do it. But one day at a time, that I've done for nearly 10 years.
It requires patience and a lot of Rah Rah's with the smaller successes. it'll happen if you stay focused and continue moving.
You've got it!
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