Deb - I was so sad when I got your text this morning. The reason I am sad is because my dearest friend is withering away. You are incredibly smart and such a hard worker, yet you won't fight for your health and happiness. You are letting this job beat you down and it is not worth it. You are only halfway through your life yet you slowly stopped living it when you took the job at XXXXX. I feel very helpless as your friend. I have tried to just be there for you and try to talk you through things but the fact is no matter what I say or do, I can't change your life, only you can do that. I know this is tough love, but it is time for you to shit or get off the pot. You either need to ask for part time or quit your job. No amount of money is worth letting go of your friends, family, health, and happiness. The fact is - you are so smart and such a hardworker, you will find another job.
I wish I could magically make everything better because I am in tears right now as I type this because I feel so helpless I can't help you. But it is time for you to help yourself.
I love you and want you to start living again.
Julie
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12 comments:
Oh! I love Julie! And you need to listen to her, she's right on the money with her advice. You're lucky to have such a straight shooter for a friend.
I've been following you for a while and I too am worried about you. You're working to hard, stressing out too much, and this can only lead to no good in your life.
My advice - listen to Julie. :)
I have to agree with both Julie and Diana!! I had a job like that and i stayed until i ended up very close to a breakdown and had to take anti-depressants for a year!! Don't do that, please. Look after yourself now.
Really, you have to take this seriously. We always like to think that we can handle everything that gets thrown at us (where do we get that idea? The movies?) but we're actually fragile human beings. I also stayed at a job too long, about eighteen years and one day too long. And when I left it altered me forever. To this day (6 years later) I still can't handle certain types of stress and I write from home!
It is exactly what friends are for -- good for Julie! If your job is taking that much out of you, it's time to change the job or change jobs. You have to take care of yourself.
I completely agree with the other three ladies and your friend Julie. You NEED to make a change and put yourself & your health first. Being one of those people that struggles to remind myself that my needs are important, I ended up in the ER just before Christmas experiencing heart attack like symptoms. They determined that it was from STRESS. While they assure me the condition isn't dangerous, it is painful & can recur repeatedly. Please don't let yourself get to the point I did before realizing I just had to slow down and take care of myself. Take care of YOU! :)
At the risk of this seeming to be an all-out pile on...ditto what everyone else said. :)
A really good book that might help you through: "Finding Your Own North Star" by Martha Beck.
But you already have the answers, I think.
Julie is a wise woman. Take care of yourself, Deb.
I can see that Julie really cares about you and your well-being. And she's brave to speak up like that, so she won't lose you.
No job is worth ruining your life and your health over. I stayed in a career for 14 years that I hated, from day 1. Crazy? Yes...but I wanted to make sure I had tried everything I could to make it work before I gave it up...wasted time.
In the big picture, if you don't have health and happiness, what is all the rest of the stuff we're doing for?
Take care of yourself, and thank goodness you have the support of a friend like Julie! She wants to help!
Deb, what a loving friend you have! True friends tell you the truth no matter what.
Take care of you!
xoxo
I absolutely agree..there is NO amount of $$ worth sacrificing your health and happiness. You only get one shot at this life...Make the absolute most of it!!
{{Deb}}
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at work - it sounds truly nightmarish.
It is very hard to find the physical and mental energy to make a lifestyle change when you have little or no free time . . . I'm having plenty of trouble getting back on track this year, and I hve a much less demanding schedule than yours. Is there any chance you might be able to take a leave of absence from your job and put your personal goals first for a while?
Julie is a great friend (and very brave)! She's right, you know. This is your LIFE, not a trial run. Your job is abusing you and when someone is in an abusive relationship, the advice is always GET OUT.
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